I remember when I was a Little Lindsay, there was this cold medicine that my mother gave to me and my sisters when we were sick. There was an orange colored syrup and a yellow colored syrup.
They both tasted so fucking good. I'm not sure if they actually cured any of the ailments they were supposed to, but I didn't care. I used to drink that shit straight from the bottle when I was little XD
Well, it's snowin' outside like a mother fucker. It's amazing and at the same time I'm hoping against hope that Kohl's is closed tomorrow morning or at least opens later. I know tonight at Yankee they closed the outlets at 5PM because of the snow//pending blizzard... so I only worked a 3 hour shift. I do not want to be driving around in this shit. The roads were bad when I was coming back from Riverhead at 5 - you couldn't even see the lines for the lanes on the expressway.
It's so much worse out, and at the same time it's fuh-reakin' beautiful. I love and hate snow XD
But most of all, I hate cough syrup that tastes terrible.
- Whatever happened to good tasting cold syrup?
-
![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif)
aconitum- December 19th, 2009
sick
- (no subject)
-
- aconitum
- December 14th, 2009
1. Was 2009 a good year for you?
It wasn't a good year, more eye-opening and life-altering than anything else.
2. What was your favorite moment of the year?
There wasn't really a favorite moment. Just the gradual progression I made throughout it.
Actually no, I do have a favorite moment. Me and Dan's 3 year anniversary. I made him dinner, he bought me a bunch of absolutely beautiful lilies, and there was no arguing at all. It was probably the happiest day I had this entire year.
3. What was your least favorite moment of the year?
Getting an abortion.
My Uncle Marty and Grandfather passing away.
4. Where were you when 2009 began?
I was at my aunt's house.
5. Who were you with?
My family.
6. Where will you be when 2009 ends?
Haven't a clue.
7. Who will you be with when 2009 ends?
I really don't know yet.
8. Did you keep your New Year's Resolutions of 2009?
I kept within the theme of them, for the most part.
9. Do you have (a) New Year's Resolution(s) for 2010?
Yes, I'm actually trying to start them a bit early.
10. Did you fall in love in 2009?
No, I rediscovered my love for a certain individual though.
11. If yes, with who?
Daniel.
12. If yes, do they know?
He's my boyfriend, and yes he knows.
13. Are you still in love with them?
I've been in love with him since 2006, I'm still in love with him, and will always be in love with him.
14. You regret it?
I don't regret being in love with him. It's not really a conscious choice.
15. Did you break up with anyone in 2009?
In a sense, yes.
16. Did you make any new friends in 2009?
Yes.
17. Who are your favorite new friends?
I don't really have any favorites.
18. What was your favorite month of 2009?
Again with the not having favorites.
19. Did you travel outside of your country of residence in 2009?
Negative.
20. How many different states / provinces did you travel to in 2009?
I don't think I left the state this year. I pretty much stayed in the New York area.
21. Did you lose anybody close to you in 2009?
Yes.
22. Did you miss anybody in the past year?
Terribly.
23. What was your favorite movie that you saw in 2009?
UP!
24. What was your favorite song from 2009?
I don't have one.
25. What was your favorite record from 2009?
Dope - No Regrets.
26. How many concerts did you see in 2009?
None, I think.
27. Did you have a favorite concert in 2009?
--
28. Did you drink a lot of alcohol in 2009?
Hardly any.
29. Did you do a lot of drugs in 2009?
I pretty much just stuck to weed.
30. How many people did you sleep with in 2009?
I'm still pure! XD
31. Did you do anything you are ashamed of this year?
A few, yes.
33. What was the worst lie someone told you in 2009?
Let's not get into this.
34. Did you treat somebody badly in 2009?
I was hardcore bitch-tastic to Chris after everything.
And I can get pretty Cuntface McGrumpypants with Dan sometimes.
35. Did somebody treat you badly in 2009?
Too many.
36. How much money did you spend in 2009?
A lot.
37. What was your proudest moment of 2009?
Getting my shit together.
38. What was your most embarrassing moment of 2009?
I have no idea.
39. If you could go back in time to any moment of 2009 and change something, what would it be?
Nothing.
40. What are your plans for 2010?
To succeed in every way possible. I have everything I need, and I'm ready to take action ::nods::
peaceful
- Why do I even bother?
-
- aconitum
- November 30th, 2009
Seriously.
Second Season, First episode of Legend of The Seeker...
Why did you have to change who Richard's real father was?
The original story line was better. He's still a Rahl... but... -sigh-
And since when did they have to search for the stone of tears? Rachel has it and in the book Zedd GIVES it to her to protect.
There's really no hope for this show, and I keep going back to it to see if they become any truer to the books.
They don't.
The acting's terrible.
Even as a separate entity, this show still sucks.
This is worse than what they did to Lord Of The Rings.
I have to be up at 5. I should go to bed.
G'night.
- Fantastic Mr, Fox
-
- aconitum
- November 26th, 2009
WEFHBASJDBKDFVHSGDFKLRFGIOSJNFKVMNSKDCV
WHAT?
NO.
NO.
NONONONONONONOOOOO.
ROALD DAHL IS SPINNING IN HIS GRAVE.
SPINNING.
SPIIIIIINNNNINNNNGGGG.
YOU DO NOT DO THIS TO MY FAVORITE CHILDHOOD AUTHOR'S BOOKS.
WHAT. THE. FUCK. IS THAT?
THE ONLY THING I LIKE ABOUT THIS MOVIE IS THE ANIMATION.
FUCK
FUCK
FDUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKCUFDKFUC KFUCKFUCKCFU KCUCK
::ahem::
That being said, I'm still going to see it.
- Thanks for giving.
-
- aconitum
- November 26th, 2009
thankful
♡Happy Thanksgiving, to one and all!♡
Count your blessings, love your family, laugh with your friends.
Be grateful for the ones that surround you at the table, and remember the ones who can't be with you today.
In addition to this holiday, it is also someone's 18th birthday today:
HAPPY BIRTHDAY, DANIEL!
My love, my all, my center, my future. Have a great one, starshine.
No tongue known in this world is succinct enough in describing how much you mean to me.
♡♡♡♡
- Sometimes I disgust myself.
-
- aconitum
- November 25th, 2009
It's not like I'm going back to old habits.
Not if the reason is legit.
I was in pain, I'll be in pain when this shit wears off.
But for a brief time I just want to be able to lay down without my spine feeling like it was on fire.
I wanted to be able to stand up without that proverbial knife slicing through me.
Don't look at me like that.
I never said I was perfect.
There I go, justifying my actions.
But I have gotten better now.
I kicked drinking a year ago.
I only drink when I'm surrounded by my family and close friends.
Even then, I don't touch whiskey or white wine - I stick to the ones that generally keep me happy and stupid; not a violent, manic mess.
I haven't been smoking weed as much lately. I'll be honest, this last week I indulged in it more than I should have, but again it's to kill the pain in my back and tooth.
Justifying, again.
I also want to stop arguing with myself. It gets annoying because I can't figure out which side is correct. Caught between the devil sitting on my left shoulder, and the angel singing in my right ear.
And I just wish someone would pick up their phone right now. I need to get out of this house for a bit, and Tom just took my truck to go to McDonalds.
I've lost too much weight over the past few months. I'm so tiny that it sickens me when I look in the mirror. I feel like a good gust of wind would knock me over. But Jazz said recently that she wouldn't want to fight me - said that she would probably end up worse off. Which says something to me, 'cause getting in a fight with Jazz is something I wish to avoid. Honestly, I think we'd be evenly matched, but both of us would be pretty fucked up. Enough of this bit of an ego-trip. I still have that bit of tummy flub that refuses to go away no matter how much I work on my abs.
I took 3 vicodin. So fucking sue me.
Getting defensive, maybe this was the wrong way to deal with the pain.
Especially since when I last took them, I wasn't quite so tiny. I was about 180lbs and doing a lot more than just a few vic's here and there.
I found more scraps and journals from those days. 14 is such an evil age. I hate feeling that way.
Scratch that, I hate feeling this way.
Dan just called me. He's coming over. I feel a bit better now, but I still have that lovely haze only given by these drugs.
Drip....Drip....Drip....I don't know why I snorted them. I probably shouldn't have, but it was how I used to do it back then. It you faster, made the pain go away in a few seconds rather than waiting half an hour. Almost instantaneous relief. Plus, Tom's got a pill crusher so it made it all the more easier.
He's on a bunch of painkillers and whatnots for his back. My back's nowhere near the condition that his is in, but it's still painful and I've been dealing with a bad back since it sustained a blow from a metal bar 17 years ago.
Food's here.
I tried making this about what's going on in my head. Trying to convey what I feel for once instead of a cluster fuck of random thoughts swirling around in my head.
Failed again, what a fucking surprise.
Instead I go more into a past that I had rapidly forgotten and remember more and more as the years go by.
I forgot about the kids I used to do essays for in return for weed or money.
Forgotten about my initial run in with that scary white powder.
I forgot so much from my first 2 years of high school.
I remember what I was going through, and I actually hate myself a bit more.
Because I hadn't suceeded in doing enough of it to erase it completely from my memory.
I'm sorry for this.
I hate remembering things from then, and a small part of me revels in it.
I don't know why.
Fuck.
Just don't even bother with this entry.
I'm not right in the head at the moment.
Vic's, weed, a few shots of rum and that fucking voice still haunting my thoughts.
Dan should be here soon. I hope he is.
Once he's here I'll probably burst into tears.
I hate this shit. I'm just so fucking tired of dealing with them. So fucking tired. So gone and so exhausted with the fighting and suppressing.
So fucking done with it.
And there's laughter
EDIT[7:28AM]: I'm sober now, well, groggy at the most. I woke up nearly an hour ago. Most of this stemmed from my own fears of going back to painkillers and from Dan freaking out.
That and having a mental relapse of sorts. I seem to be at risk of having them around this time of year. I still haven't figured out why.. maybe it's just seasonal, who knows.
I make him aware of my indulgences now, when before I didn't. I guess that's some improvement. Not that I go into anything more than weed these days, but considering my history with painkillers it's something that I should make him aware of. He wasn't angry, at all. At least, not that I could see or sense. He understood why, and I guess I have my answer to it that it was okay, despite them not being exclusively prescribed to me. If he was angry with me last night//this morning he wouldn't have watched The Fifth Element with me all curled up on the couch. He wouldn't have fallen asleep with me, and he definitely wouldn't have kissed me. Maybe that last part, but the cuddling, no.
I'm not going back to painkillers, I've no desire to. I think they might still be in my system, but not entirely. My back seems to be re-entering it's usual pain and my tooth is beginning to assume that numbing pain. Appointment next week, I think I can make it.
When I dropped Dan off this morning (his dad having parked behind him, blocking him in) he says that I've lost too much weight. He says that he meant to say something during the night, but we both fell asleep before he could say anything. I don't mean to lose too much. It's not like I don't eat, or I'm doing something I shouldn't. I eat, trust me. But I'm so rarely hungry these days. I force myself to eat three meals a day because even though I don't feel hunger I know I need something keep my energy up. Maybe it's because of the decrease in meat in my diet, or the exclusion of junk food. Fast food I've been eating a lot, but it's mostly been fries, mozzerella sticks (BK) and the occasional order of chicken nuggets.
Yarg, more rambling. And I feel like I'm going to vomit. That shit's still in my system, I can still taste it in the back of my throat.
- I am 15 minutes early with this, but I have a long day ahead of me and I do not want to forget....
-
- aconitum
- November 24th, 2009
- chipper
♡♥HAPPY BIRTHDAY SIL//ALLAN!!♥♡
Have a fuckin' great birthday, dude. You deserve every happy moment that this day brings to you.
(Viva la resistance! ^_^)
- Something strange is admist...
-
- aconitum
- November 23rd, 2009
indescribable
I feel like... something's missing.
Well, more like it's still here, yet not completely whole.
It could all be some sort of brainwash that I've unknowingly stumbled into that's causing these occurrences... or maybe my own paranoia is finally dis-satisfied with the endless clawing, and for once is trying to devour me entirely.
Well, maybe not that extreme yet... but definitely trying to do something more than the norm.
It's been a weird couple of days, yet nothing out of the ordinary stand out to mark them as such.
Or maybe that's just it... so used to the oddities of life that normalcy strikes me as strange, even frightening.
Or maybe I just need a few more hours sleep.
- Charlene's birf-daaii
-
- aconitum
- November 19th, 2009
- cheerful
-clears throat- Ahem.... mimimimimiiiiii....♡HAPPY 21ST, CHARIZARD!♡
Chug, chug, chuuuug it!
Have fun, and all that other 21st birthday jazz. Love ya, chicka.
Annnd, 'cause I forgot about it on the 17th....
♡HAPPY [belated] 26TH TO JAMES!♡
You're old, bro. But hope you had fun, and I wish you the best with married life.
Come out to the island as soon as you can, we all miss you up here =[
- Eldest sister...
-
- aconitum
- November 15th, 2009
♡HAPPY 26TH BIRTHDAY, CHRISTINE!♡You/re old, kiddo XD But I still love,ya
Welp, anyway. Spent the night at Daniel's... still laying in his bed actually while he's trying to sleep XD. I've been trying to download this program since 10 last night, and it's not cooperating. I might have to knife a bitch >:|
On my way over here last night, I saw someone IN COLD BLOOD kill an opossum. There was this white hyundai in front of me and I see the night dweller run out into the street. The white hyundai just keeps going and hits the poor animal. I was kind of hoping that my eyes were deceiving me and that the opossum was just playin'.... opossum. I had to go back to my house to get my laptop to show Dan a couple of things (plus he has AMAZING service over here and I needed to get this program downloaded). If he survived the first car ('cause I didn't hit it, I kinda went girlish, screamed and swerved to avoid hitting the already dead animal -_-) there was no way he survived the three or four cars that probably ran it over in succession. It was still there in the road when I passed by the school. Poor baby -_-
Gotta piss and then I have to get goin'.
Later.
- Tomorrow is a subjective day.
-
- aconitum
- October 12th, 2009
Tomorrow, when I wake up, I'll be skinnier.
I'll have my ideal body.
I'll have a six pack and my toned arms and legs back.
I'll flash my Colgate smile and be perfectly happy and secure with the person in the mirror.
Tomorrow I'll be financially secure.
I won't have to worry about how I'm going to pay for this bill, while trying to figure out how to pay off that.
I'll be out of debt and not have to worry about anything.
Tomorrow I'll be back in school.
I'll be working towards something that I love to do.
I'll be in a constant state of creativity and inspiration.
I'll be my own goddamned muse.
Tomorrow my family will be in a better state of mind.
My dad will calm down and my mom won't be depressed.
My sisters will be happier with themselves and their lives.
We'll all sit down to have dinner together, and afterwards play a game.
Tomorrow, as I'm driving to work in my truck, sipping my 7-11 coffee and smoking my strawberry flavored Camels, I won't fight the urge to swerve into the next lane.
I won't think of how easily I could score some blow and drive to Montauk until I hit the water.
I won't think of listening to Harry Chapin while cruisin' with my buddy, Johnnie Walker.
I won't think of how hopeless and broken I seem to have become.
Tomorrow will be different.
Tomorrow will be a perfect day with nothing worry about.
Tomorrow has everything planned out for it.
Tomorrow, I'll own the world.
But goddamn, Today fucking sucks.
- "Darlin'! Your hair's blue!"
-
- aconitum
- September 17th, 2009
My Godfather wrote a poem for my Uncle Marty, who's been battling esophageal cancer since January.
Unlike what we've all been trying to tell ourselves, he's not going to be getting better. And if he lives to see 2010 it'll be a miracle.
I broke down crying when I read it.
( My Bubba's Chair )
- Feel good.
-
- aconitum
- September 15th, 2009
Despite the fact that the 7/16" taper is now stuck in my ear (it won't move at all -_-), and these new iron pills I bought make my tummy hurt, I'm happy with Life right now.
That's all.
- This is worth the 3rd update in less than 24 hours:
-
- aconitum
- September 3rd, 2009
From what I've seen it looks like all original casting ('cept Dafoe... we're stuck with his "protege" x_x). Seriously though, how many years have fans of BDS been waiting for All Saints Day? We get it nearly 11 years after the first one, and it's when Sean Patrick Flannery doesn't look to be aging very well. Hell, Billy Connolly looks better than him XD
I have to say though, even if it doesn't look like it'll live up to the first one, I'm still excited about this movie. It looks like they have another "Rocco" character for this movie... I just don't like how they have to have another Smecker, which... irritates me. Unless you're Mrs. Mole than I don't believe anyone can fill Dafoe's shoes for that role. Create another role... don't put a spin on the character's gender because you don't want to break away from the original formula.
Despite that... I'm excited ^_^
- It must be some cosmic law.
-
- aconitum
- September 3rd, 2009
I can't spend less than 90% of my birthday crying.
- Twenty + One
-
- aconitum
- September 2nd, 2009
Can't believe I made it.
In all honesty, when I was little I thought I was going to die well before I turned 16.
5 years later I'm still surprised that I've survived this long.
(BTW, my sister was moving my kit around and somehow managed to fuck up the stand for my snare. It won't fit properly anymore >_O And the upper half of my body is so tan while my legs are pale as fuck XD)
Can't say I'm not happy about it, but it doesn't make me any less amazed.
Well, technically I won't be 21 until 3:06 this afternoon XD
I don't have anything big planned for my birthday, seeing as how I've never been one to make a big deal about it and how up until 11:30 last night I was still working today. Christine switched with me, so I'm off tonight and with any luck some horrible shit won't go down today and we'll all be able to go out for dinner. Peacefully.
Michelle came back last night. My dad and her aren't talking to each other so that should make things interesting. It seems like everyone just chooses my birthday to have some baby drama bullshit happen.
In other news, Dan found a nice 2 bedroom apartment that's pretty fuckin' cheap. It's about half an hour/45 minutes away from where we live now. Nice neighborhood, and with four of us (Jenn wanted me, her, Dan and Mike to move in together, so for the time being that's the plan.) living together it's a fuckin' steal =] It'll probably be another couple of months before we all get squared away, and get all settled to move out... but damn am I excited about leaving this fucking house and this town.
Dan's also getting a Jaguar (car, obviously... not the big kitty) sometime this week. He's excited about it and keeps saying "IT'S A FUCKIN' JAG, SON!"... if he says it one more time he's getting decked in the throat XD
Mail just came - I have my new license now. No more bright red letters that read "UNDER 21".
I'm old, however....:HAPPY 25TH, RIVERS!...I'm not as old as Rivers XDTHE DAY IS OURS!
- Writer's Block: What Makes You Feel Sexy?
-
- aconitum
- August 25th, 2009
This does:
Got a Chelsea Hawk this time around. I figured out a way to have my hair so that Kohl's doesn't give me a problem.
I'm still... ehhh about the Chelsea part. I'm thinking about buzzing it off and just having the elf locks left. Oh well, we'll see. Maybe when my hair gets a bit a longer.
I also dyed it again. It's almost like a deep cherry red. I like it ^___^
It's super thick, too thick. I have to take about a half inch on each side, but other than that..... love.
In other news, I somehow became addicted to... clicking. For the past couple of days I've been obsessively playing Vampire Wars on FaceBook. I know it's not like you're actually fighting or anything... it's just... random clicking. I could never see how people could get into games like this.
I still don't know, but for the time being, I'm one of them.
Oh, and speaking of FB - my dad has one now. Me and Michelle added him of course.
I was talking to Mike about Vampire Wars (Dorky, I know. Shut up -_-). He made fun of me for something, to which I responded "Fuck you, man. I will kick your bitch-ass next time I see you."
Couple of hours after that my dad tells me that I need to watch my language on FaceBook.
...Are you serious?
You, the man you has used more variants of the word "fuck" than I've ever known anyone to use, is telling me, your soon to be 21 year old daughter, to watch my language on the internet?
Not only that, but it's Mike. Who the fuck cares about him? Well, except Jenn, of course.
Why should I watch what I say? Because other people can read it.
Cover your virgin eyes, Lindsay said "fuck" and "bitch-ass".
- (no subject)
-
- aconitum
- August 21st, 2009
My brakes failed on me.
I spun out straight into oncoming traffic.
I managed not to hit anything except the curb, which stopped the truck from spinning out of control.
The back axle is all fucked up.
At least I'm not dead.
Thank God for small favors, right?
